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Our relationship, I note, has suffered because we don't spend enough time together (not surprising really, since she doesn't exist).I register, and enter the murky world of two-timing technology, taking note of the warning on the site: "Not all affairs have a positive effect on a marriage." What a masterpiece of understatement.I wonder if anyone has ever read this, seen the wisdom of it and decided not to join. "I'm witty, charming, handsome and modest, and I'm kind to animals," I write, hoping this description will have a fairly broad appeal, and also include a recent photograph.Her photograph reveals that the hour has stretched to 90 minutes.I'm already starting to feel like I've had enough of this experiment.