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Other people are willing to concede that cybersex without the knowledge of their partner, ; nevertheless, some still maintain it's a type of "OK" cheating.

In some circumstances, cybersex may in fact help a person through a rough period in an offline, loving relationship.

We’re allowed to have those as a preference, but when men say they like big women we use the word fetish. Why can’t it be seen as a perfectly acceptable preference?

And yes, it’s specifically fat girls we use the term ‘fetish’ for.

Rather than representing the common garden humble fat girl, they now appear to relate only to modelesque types who are just well-endowed. Men are afraid they will be ostracised from their friends, laughed at because – as one client explained – ‘fat girls are like mopeds.

You want to ride one, you just don’t want your friends to see you with it’.

And so, because being fat is so terrible, having a preference for someone who is larger than average cannot be seen as ‘normal’.

Equally, people in the plus sized community hate ‘curvy’ and ‘voluptuous’ as these have been watered down. I encourage the plus size community to use whatever term they’re comfortable with, and would hastily add that we shouldn’t judge or belittle that choice out of snobbery. Fine, I’m happy you didn’t have my childhood trauma. I know some ‘real women’ who don’t even have a vagina. What it all comes down to is that we’re all afraid.If a women likes bigger men, we use the rather more playful and socially acceptable ‘chubby chaser’, gay people have the equally cuddly ‘bears’.But an averaged sized man can’t like a fat girl without having a fetish? I run Body Positive club nights in London where I encourage anyone of any size to come and have a night out in a non-judgemental atmosphere, but this has lead me to hear both sides of an argument which just doesn’t need to exist.I’m also happy to use the term BBW (Big, Beautiful Women), but lots of fat activists tell me it’s been too appropriated by porn.Now, I’m over 35 so for me the term BBW was the first time I had seen a phrase used to describe a fat girl without sounding derogatory.

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